Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from 2008

I am homeless.

A gust of wind,
A lapse of memories,
Time has eaten
the rest of my days.

On the verge of success,
I tripped deep within,
The flaming temptations,
Down to the end.

A speeding car,
Three coins in my jar,
I gave my family,
For a few dollars worth,
I traded what was precious,
for my life of misery.

I look around,
In search of hope,
I seek forgiveness,
Two decades too late.

A violent blow,
A beautiful face,
my three descendants,
And her pretty smile.

A careless turn,
A sudden flash,
And my life was gone.

I remember the final gasp,
of my life twenty years back,
I lost everything I ever valued,
I lost my life, that night.

You can call me homeless,
As you walk into my house,
and notice, that my heart,
is long gone in heaven,
In the tight hands of my
three descendants.

You took everything from me,
And even if I have everything,
I will always be homeless,
As beyond a sturdy ceiling,
The loss of my family,
will always leave me bleeding.

A minute.

3 minutes.
The hand turns once more.
I rush towards,
the closing doors.

As it flies,
I leap towards eternity,
for just a moment,
as it is taken away.

2 minutes.
I tremble,
Make it stop,
Just this once.

I seek the impossible,
In the shortest span,
It was simply everything,
In 180 turning hands.

One minute.
There's nothing more,
I can do or say,
Time has slipped.
As I saw it go by.

My eyes close,
Hoping for a pause,
My thoughts scramble,
As I ask you, one thing.

Give me a minute.
Before I say goodbye.

Sleeping beauty.

A devastating remark,
A broken heart,
A stained path,
Prominent pain...

I trace back the hours,
To a heartfelt surprise,
Christmas morning,
Within a Joker,
And the purple fabric,
I remembered, and smiled.

I could not lose
A friend in my heart,
As my heart could not lose,
a friend like you.

Beyond our differences,
too nice, too worried,
I hurried... to tell you,
That deep within,

I was sorry, I let you go by,
Because the sleeping beauty,
inside me,
Would never die.

Can I see?

The dark pavement,
A speeding car,
A gust of wind,
and a motorcycle afar.

Everything surrounds me,
and yet no one knows,
what goes on,
inside me.

Two clashing fortunes,
A shining diamond,
A golden ring,
Within the silent road.

Dark eyes in the distance,
Of a glowing dead end,
Of an undecided glimpse,
Two rocky paths,
And a broken bicycle.

Let us not choose our destiny,
If destiny's ring was chosen,
And the golden future, undecided.

Stop me, just this once,
and guide me through.

Just tell me,
which road goes further,
Because from where I stand,
I can see no further.

Blind as I may be,
Help me as the chains turn,
and I walk into,
What I cannot see.

But set me free,
Into unknown territory,
Because blind as I may be,
I can see.

Together at last.

A sharpened dagger,
A fresh drop,
Don't cry,
Don't die.

It splatters,
Endless particles,
It goes beyond,
What you can see.

A silent wave,
Of true emotions,
A sudden hit,
you did not see.

The fresh drop,
stains your heart,
You tremble,
and say goodbye.

Let me explain,
What I can not say,
And tell you,
What you can not hear.

I could not bear
See you tear,
The stained rose,
And so I brought it,
to a close.

I grabbed both sides,
and held them tight,
As they split apart,
With strength and might,

And as I lay there,
I noticed that my two worlds,
would once again,
unite.

Meaningless Meaning

Thirteen golden charms,
Within a simple drawer
The black and white,
Life in a river's might.

Find the meaning,
Which was always there,
Question the simple,
And make it disappear.

Even the truest meaning,
Was left to question,
Where had reason gone,
In a world, of pure imagination.

Who would we be,
Without the colors
Of society's creativity,
What would we do?

Let me reason,
That meaning exists,
That for once,
Everything is explained.

Beyond the textbook,
And accepted definition,
Close your eyes,
Go beyond those lies.

And imagine more,
Than what reality cries,
Because the tears of truth,
Are colorless fools,
Whose life goes dry,
As we smile,
At a blank canvas,
Giving life,
To the meaningless,
the meaningless meaning...

matadorqk

Two to tango.

I don't know what to do,
The stress builds up,
And as time passes,
My eyes turn blue.

A silent tear,
hits the ground,
I cannot hear you,
You are no where to be found.

Where has hope gone?
I looked beneath my bed,
Within my sheets,
And inside me.

And there it was,
where it had always been.
Within my heart,
was my hope.

I almost lost it,
But sanity retained,
With one lesson,
Which I stared at,
in disdain.

How could I have missed,
The simplest thing,
That in a glimpse,
Took winter into spring.

Never lose the hope,
Which you always have,
Because no matter the issue,
A beach, or eighteen candles,
There is one truth, for you to handle.

You are who you are on your own.
And no matter the sunlight,
or number of friends,
it takes two to tango,
but only one, to truly be
great.

matadorqk

I lied.

The meaning lies,
in a lie.

Somewhere within,
the grey truth,
lies a black lie,
who says,
he cannot lie.

Why would anyone,
lie about a lie,
as they lie again,
to protect their lie.

Oh please,
Do not lie,
as I lie here,
because a lie,
will make me
die where I lie.

I cannot take
anymore lies.
As I say the word lie,
fifteen times.

I lied.

matadorqk

A million pieces

Memories go by,
A chasing car,
flies past me.
I can't forget.

Deep within,
My dusty cells,
Lies a memory,
Of the wrong choice.

A beautiful past,
Is stored in frames,
Of what used to be,
And no longer is.

How could it happen,
Slipped from your hands,
The vase cracks,
And your left with
a million pieces.

I don't know what to do,
As I walk in the bleeding spikes,
I look back at what used to be,
All I have is a memory.

The memory of you,
has fallen to a million pieces,
And yet I still look back,
With one thing in mind.

No matter the pieces,
Which shatter within,
My efforts herein,
Never ceases.

I will pick up a million pieces.

Let me forget

Let me forget
Everything around me,
The work, the stress,

My life, a mess.
Explode, not just yet.

Fire the colors,
Order some more,
Remember the past,
Great memories come back,
Explode,
The time is right.

matadorqk

An inspirational rhyme.

It is easy to be absent,
To simply not care,
And refuse to even
glimpse, or stare.

It is easy to turn to the wind,
Whose invisible breeze,
cruises through life,
Like problems were not there.

But it is those who care,
those who take the rocky path,
those who go against the wind,
It is those, who matter.

Let us not lie here,
and watch humanity die here,
Let's throw in our grain of rice,
So our future isn't a mere,
roll of dice.

Do it for the future,
Or just because,
But step in this sailing ship,
With your grain of rice.

Convince all you can,
And only the stubborn minds stay behind,
In a world, which no longer can.
Oh man, what a short life-span.

Do something.

matadorqk

A poem's poem

As they come together,
I tremble,
the words unite,
Perfection rises.

From nothing at all,
A small plant sprouts,
And with time,
a beautiful rose.

It is hard to explain,
The relationship of words,
Their eternal love,
Beyond that of humanity.

A different feeling,
A different flower,
In each of us,
Something blooms.

Beyond the pumping apple,
And the devouring basket,
A feeling arises,
Something never felt before.

And just like that,
The blooming flower,
Spreads beyond words,
And the eternal love,
From a poem's poem,
Has ended.

matadorqk

What to do...

Against all odds,
I desire something,
Which within me,
I do not desire.

I want what is wrong,
To once and for all,
break the boundaries,
And make that mistake.

A simple mistake,
Once in my life,
I need the experience,
To learn the lesson.

I played with fire,
And got burnt.
I want to do this,
To learn why not.

A simple request,
To do what is wrong,
To know for myself,
Once and for all.

Set me free,
Spread my wings,
Let me fly in the wild,
And do what as a child,
You told me was wrong.

Because you have told me,
One too many times,
Spurred my curiosity
Beyond the enemies line,
That for once,
I just want to fly away.
And learn for myself.

Just let me.
Or stop me.

matadorqk

I shall wait.

Loved by all,
Her eyes were mine,
Just for that instant,
I committed a crime.

I had perfection,
and let it go,
I set beauty free,
And it was gone.

My biggest mistake,
Money could not pay,
I was the richest man,
But no feast
Could bring us back,
To that day.

The day where I saw,
What the heavens made,
The day where I fell in love,
and let it fade.

I went through darkness,
To make money for love,
But I could not pay,
The years I did not give you,
my love.

My love, I am here,
In a swimming pool,
In a big mansion,
Across the lake.

I await the sound,
of a little fool,
I await the sound,
of dropping coins,
I await the sound,
of you, my love.

The brightness of
a green light,
fades away.
In a night where
Nick, stared my way.

I was nimble to see
A bright green light,
But blinded at
the surrounding darkness.

In darkness,
I had money,
In darkness,
I saw you shine,
And neither,
Gave me you.

One mistake, extinguished our fire.
One chance, and I chose,
What I did not desire.

Blame it on me,
Because you could not wait,
Blame it on me,
Perhaps it was f…

Merry Christmas

The brightest colors,
The joyous children,
Renewing your past,
It has come again.

The end of twelve,
The final thirty,
A special twenty-five,
A day, no words can describe.

To some, it has no meaning,
The special twenty-five,
within them,
has died.

To others, it's another holiday,
Another day off,
Which will be long forgotten,
In the depth of their memory.

However, to many,
It is beyond everything,
Everything ever seen or felt,
A day beyond reality itself.

The unison of life,
An act of kindness,
A time where evil vanishes,
We come together,
All differences aside.

You take your time,
for those you care for,
Because you are grateful,
They were there for you.

A simple gesture,
Changes life itself,
A single present,
And a thousand smiles.

The day has come again,
After a year of struggle,
The day where I can once again,
Wish you, one thing.

Merry Christmas.

matadorqk

We are They

They told me a few words,
Could not change the world,
They told me to give up,
And lose my hope.

It was they who started it,
The guns, the bombs, the wars,
It was they who fired first,
And saw extermination,
a few steps away.

I could not imagine,
What the world would be,
If we followed what they said,
After seeing so many, dead.

It was not the fault of what they said,
but rather, those who followed.
Because it was not they,
Who let this happen.

We live in a world of horror,
Where blood is shed by the minute,
In the sight of power,
We are blinded by it.

No longer could I hold my thoughts,
and dream of peace.
I knew a few words,
could go a long way.

And so I write this,
hoping to save a life,
I write this, hoping that you realize,
We are they.

Let us change.

matadorqk

No questions asked.

I was weak,
and undecided,
you abused of,
the bright minded.

I was bribed into everything,
Pushed against my belief,
into actions which overall,
contradicted my moral.

And in a gust of wind,
My life had cleared.
I no longer feared,
the open-ended remark.

I certainly knew
No was the answer.
To all those inquiries,
which made me tremble.

But the courage it took,
to build up inside,
and reject all outside,
was phenomenal in my mind.

I may have gained,
a selfish defense,
which although rude,
I would not call crude.

Every man for himself,
And no man will get scammed.
Grow some independence,
And live by your own supplies.

I live by my own,
and yet love to help out,
I preach a theory,
seemingly contradicted in practice.

But within me,
lies a strong philosophy,
I can help out,
If I expect nothing in return.

I'd love to recieve help,
If it wasn't conditional,
Because I have not asked,
For your assistance, in any task.

My lesson is strong,
Recieve help when given,
and give help when you can,
But every man remains on his own,
rega…

I love you.

Deep within,
A heartfelt loss,
I could not figure,
What went wrong...

Which drop spilled the cup,
Which we so vividly,
filled up...

I don't need to know,
what caused such pain,
in the midst of confusion,
and so many mistakes.

We find each other, once again,
And the dream of you,
paints itself true,
In an illusion of reality.

I wish I could erase,
the written past,
and for once slow down,
what went so fast.

I cannot forget
what I left behind,
because within it,
lies the memory,
of the person,
I once loved.


I have not left,
and while my heart cries,
I dream of what was once best.

I will not forget.
How my heart once felt.
My love for you,
will forever, remain true.

matadorqk

It ends.

Be it characters,
letters or words,
We are all the same,
From wherever we came.

As the drop of ink,
inaguarates a feeling,
Something new is born,
something we have never seen.

It's a phenomenal combination
Never seen in a thousand years,
This creation is yours, and
yours only.

How such sentiment came upon,
is no matter of psychology,
The emotions in our heart,
are a breathe-taking mystery.

And dare I search the mystery
which I have felt,
time and time again.

Dare I explain my feelings,
It would never end,
as I have never felt exactly the same,
Once and again.

As the words go through me,
they splatter on canvas,
I have found the perfect colors,
and yet, I cannot end.

Our feelings wander,
lost and confused,
I am truly absent,
and so it ends.

matadorqk

A thousand sheets

The pressure mounts,
Everything builds up,
A thousand sheets,
And you've just begun.

The clock takes down,
minute by minute,
your hand shivers,
Your far from done.

The night has come,
To your side,
The heavy load,
slowly unstacks.

Everything dismantles,
The sun has come again,
And to your side,
A memory of a thousand sheets,
Which swiftly, flew by.

The memory of a thousand sheets,
has died.

matadorqk

Everything is going to be alright.

Life looks slim,
your inner light
turns dim.

What was once bright,
has lost its might,
No hope is in sight,
But you hold on tight.

The world could fall apart,
time and time again,
The world could turn to flames,
And yet, it would not end.

I simply can't explain
How we have made,
every wrong turn,
and yet, turned out right.

I have lost my worries,
I have gained trust,
Within me, I know for once,
Everything is going to be alright.

qk

A dusty page...

I'd tell you to leave it behind,
where it already lies,
but all I hear in silence,
is how your memory cries.

It looks back,
and tends to regret,
the actions one took,
in a forgotten past,
which one can't forget.

Our mind is in tears,
As it has not realized,
The actions one took.

Beyond one's mistakes,
And those forgotten regrets,
A dusty page lies within,
all our disgrace.

We were there,
in a moment of need,
We were there to help,
And yet we forget,
the actions we took,
For a better world.

Revive these memories,
In vivid colors,
and glorious sunlight,
Revive these memories,
To brighten your mistakes,
Because they have made you,
shaped you bit by bit,
into who you have become.

If we learn one thing
from a wrong step,
it's that we learn,
from a wrong step.

Take your path,
Walk your way,
step it right or wrong,
But keep it strong,
because deep within us,
a dusty page lies,
waiting to be remembered.

matadorqk

Courage

She runs off with the one,
who defies the ideals,
who breaks the rules,
who fucks them over,
with love.

Be it the wisest,
One may never understand,
The problems that lie,
within this unsolved mystery.

How is it possible
That years of studies,
Leave us dumbfounded,
To the questions, which others,
so nimbly answer,

How is it possible,
that these questions
No book can answer.

Speak what you want,
Percieve as you wish,
Reason if you please,
But don't underestimate the other,
Because even the greatest scholar,
May not read emotions,
Even the wisest men,
May not read emotions,
Because in such a book,
You need courage
to turn the pages.

matadorqk

I'm doing something.

Yes I have tried,
To lay there,
with nothing to do,
But truly,
it's too daunting a task.

My life revolves
around one objective,
One mission,
To better oneself.

Every thought,
Every action,
Everything, has its purpose,
To be better.

How simple of life,
If it were simply that,
And yet it is,
And it is so complicated.

Doing nothing is defined
by me, as something,
and this something,
does nothing, to improve.

Given such thought,
How was I, to lay there,
and do nothing?

I merely can't.
A workaholic to many,
And sleep-deprived to others,
I have my problems.

However the many,
I think i'm better,
Than those who sit there,
and do nothing.

Finding satisfaction,
In a pointless task,
is merely yet another,
pointless task.

Act as you wish,
I shall lay here,
doing something,
at every moment,
your doing nothing.

matadorqk

A method to my madness

Nights go by
And efforts die out
I cannot help it
I'm going crazy

Everything shatters
I'm terribly confused
I'm working with nothing
And yet, making something

Truly, I work miracles,
Here, and there,
I'm everywhere
Be it night or day,
At school, or at home,
Im always there.

Although it may not last,
And sleep I may not get,
There are motives
There are reasons,
Everything is there.

It's late at night,
I work hard, no stops,
Merely to get it all done,

In all my years,
Never has a paper gone,
undone,
And it never shall,
Because I know, I can.

Perhaps my body
isn't half as strong
as my motivation,
But I know deep within,
It works some extra hours,
for that satisfaction.

Yes, I'm going crazy,
Yes, I do not sleep,
But I know my limits,
There's a method to my madness.

qk

I hope you forgive...

My destiny written
My future decided
It was no longer in my hands
I could not fit your plans

Yes, I am sorry
But should I be?
How could I foresee
beyond my own mind
How could I predict
the unpredictable

I'm sorry
For two things I did not plan
I'm sorry
Am I really?

I mean no harm
I speak my thoughts
As best I can

I'm not sorry
I will not go
I'm only sorry
I will not be there
On that day

And for that,
I truly am sorry
that,
I hope you forgive.

qk

150 Words

150 words. Who am I? Now its 142. I find it impossible to tell you who I am with 130 left. A numerical countdown. I like math, but now I'm under pressure. 117. Slice me down to digits, I know not who I am at such a young age, I'm in the unknown. 95. Should I find myself, I would misplace it, I cannot know who I am until life has gone by, a time where my life, would die. 69. I keep falling, hold my hand and help me keep in path, I have grown, and yet still in need of guidance, I want not to finish, or reach the end, give me hope. 34. Hope that I shall continue writing forever, under boundaries, breaking my limits, because that is part of who I am. 13. A little part which I am not even sure of. 2. That's all.

qk

My english teacher mentioned in class today, about colleges giving you 150 words to tell you who you were, just as an example, and I found it intriguing enough to write 150 words, exactly, about who I was. The parragraph above was the result.

I'm in Heaven

How can I know
what I don't believe in,
How can I find a place,
where I have not been?

Deep in the sky,
or further beyond,
where can I find,
this perfect place,

Where can I find
a place with no flaws,
If within myself,
I have them all.

I know not where this place is,
I know just one thing,
One day I'll say
I'm in heaven.

qk

Maybe

It really wasn't all so simple,
To draw that line,
Where yes and no split,
With nothing in between.

I was puzzled and confused,
I did not know what to say,
A black and white question,
And all I got was grey,

But then a light turned green,
Endless possibilities it brought,
I had found the in between,
I had found the perfect answer.

Only to notice,
I was miles from certainty,
I was back at the start
I was both yes and no.

It was here it struck me,
I questioned myself once more,
Would I ever be sure?
And then, I knew,
I knew the answer.

Was it yes?
Was it no?
Would I know?
Maybe...

qk

Promise?

I have to ask you something,
It's nothing big,
A simple question,
That makes the future,
present.

Can you please,
Will you please,
just please,
Make it certain,

Like never before,
Assure me beyond doubt,
That nothing will go wrong,
That you will make it happen.

Will you have the confidence,
Will you make it definite?
Will you, just this once,
Promise?

qk

Don't play with fire...

The small lizard lay incognito
As I walked in for a sandwich
I took out some bread, cheese,
and pepperoni too,
And as I failed at making a pizza,
there it was,
the no longer hidden lizard,
Inside the empty vase,
Which my dad had left outside.

I remember a time in need of guidance,
I remember a time in need of orders,
Where I did what I was told,
Where I knew no better,
But a new time has come,
It is time to grow older.

Is it time to grow older?
I wonder, where was I?
How did it all go by this fast?
I'm still in school,
I'm still young,
I'm still a kid,
who tells his father,
don't leave the vase out,
the lizard's may come in.

The roles will change,
From father to son,
to son to father,
and although not yet,
I know at some point,
My parents will need of me,
As I needed of them,
For what seems like,
an eternity.

So as my father walks by,
I sit here wondering,
Will he ever go back,
Will he ever forget?
Will I ever have to say...
No Dad, Don't play with fire.

qk

'I am a paradelle'

Billy Collins introduced a great form of a poem, called a paradelle. They are fun and although hard to write, it is very entertaining for those who are math-oriented, as it is hard to figure out. I wrote my own paradelle, and it is titled, 'I am a paradelle'.

I am a Paradelle

Very repetitive
Very repetitive
Is a paradelle
Is a paradelle
A very paradelle
is repetitive

Don't say this twice
Don't say this twice
Stop following the form
Stop following the form
Don't stop the following,
Say this form, twice

I am confused
I am confused
These words are mixing
These words are mixing
Confused words these are
I am mixing

These words are repetitive
This form is very confused
Don't stop mixing
Say the following, twice,
I am a paradelle.
I am a paradelle.

qk

In the last paragraph, I broke free of the format of the paradelle, and repeated the last line twice, which would break the sequence for the rules Billy Collins invented, and give it a form of my own.

Relieve what stress?

Well, that's too bad, I don't really have a special place. I'm supposed to write about a special place that I go to, to relieve stress, well, here are my words on stress, rather than the 'special place'.

Stress is generally a teenage-created term in order to represent the stressing thought of "I have too much homework". I'm a student, and I'll be the first to say there is no such thing. Oh big deal, you have too much homework, and not a single clue about stress. Let me explain, stress is generally a mental state where you feel overwhelmed about how you are going to do something, or resolve a problem. Generally for teens, this is how the Math, English, and Physics homework is going to get done. Well, instead of walking over to that special place, and relieving my stress, I relieve what some call "stress" in a simpler way. I sit down, and do my homework. That certainly relieves it, as the problem is no longer there. I feel I am a very logic…

A life lesson..

He embraced me with all his strength, I could not move as he gripped me, hoping never to let go. In August, 2008, I decided to go to Camp Hope for the second time. This camp, held biannually, asks for volunteers from different schools to take care of campers who generally have mental retardation, Down syndrome, or other disorders which disable them from fully functioning. I was assigned to Chriscencio, a camper who appeared to suffer from Down syndrome to the extent that it was hard to communicate with him. Dark skinned, with little hair, it would seem Chriscencio was in his late 40’s, or 50’s. Although he did not have the mentality of a young boy, he struggled with basic problems such as balance and fluent communication. The work at this camp is truly a heart-felt gift for the parents or caretakers of these campers, who get a break from the non-stop attention their child requires. Although in my first camp it was emotionally stressful, and very difficult to deal with, I got to know t…

What came first?

What came first, the chicken or the egg? These vital questions I can’t but help asking, as they continue to perturb my mind. I can no longer think, I have to choose. Could it be the chicken who adapted to laying the eggs, or the egg who was so carefully placed by the Creator’s hands? I wonder, knowing inside I will never settle for a truthful answer. However, I am in dire need of an answer, and therefore, I will have to settle for both. The chicken and the egg live in harmony, together, they contribute to each other like hydrogen and oxygen, they bind together, and create the cycle of life, which we forever question. Let us stop these inquiries about which is more important, and consider that without one or the other, we have nothing. This is why we need both the chicken and the egg, we need both hydrogen and oxygen, we need both the base, and its blocks to function. This is why it does not matter which is more important, but rather that both of them are, because together they serve t…

Who am I?

Who am I? A question I could probably spend years answering. I am complex as I am wise, but never wise enough to answer such a question, merely because, I cannot be defined. I am an unsolved Rubik's cube, with endless combination's of colors, that with one turn, turn into another. I am more than who you think I am, because as you think it, I have already changed, and once I get all figured out,
I will change again.

I thought it would look better in a poem:

Who am I?

A question I could probably
spend years answering.
I am complex as I am wise,
but never wise enough
to answer such a question,
merely because, I cannot be defined.
I am an unsolved Rubik's cube,
with endless combinations of colors,
that with one turn,
turn into another.

I am more than who you think I am,
because as you think it,
I have already changed,
and once I get it all figured out,
I will change again.

qk

What is this?

Interesting question, 'a blog' would satisfy the answer, but it would not encompass the content. This has a purpose, it has a meaning, and yet I am not sure of what it is. It is a blog for a class that I do not know much of, that I am not taking. In fact, the class is in another school, and I know it merely because a friend suggested my participation, and with great joy I accepted, unknowing of what it really was, but here I am, writing a blog for a class I am not taking, in a school I am not in.

qk