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"I'm not the whisky you want, I'm the water you need." - Rupi Kaur

The light came through,
Your peaceful smile, in truth.
The surreal was still at bay
But I did not know what my words would convey.

I heard the silence pedal,
I spent the days winning medals
Hoping to protect my heart
By covering it with metal.

I'm trying to explain these walls,
The shields and simple fears,
I hope they don't reflect you away,
But I do not know if you can stay.

I buried myself deep within
Behind this thick armor
My wounds had frozen
As I lay there, I burned the roses.

A little heat was a sweet reminder
Of my burnt past
The loving pleasure and pain
I ran from what would always remain.

So when I glanced at you in disbelief,
It was hard to mutter past my walls,
But you saw past them with your own,
By admitting what I had never known.

The vulnerabilities we touch
Let us know we are loved
They acknowledge our shame
And let us play our game

With a silly smile, I finally got the courage
I finally had the nerve,
To yell past my walls with a whisper,
And ask myself the question...

"Can't I be happy I'm with you?"

.
.
.


In the distance, she whispered

"To let ourselves be seen,
To love with our whole hearts,
To practice gratitude,
To lean into joy.

I am enough." - paraphrased from BrenĂ© Brown's TED talk.

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Click

"Click".

It switched.
Unequivocally different.
Through those hardships
We finally turned around.

Perhaps reflections and glimmers
Gave us sight when we could not claim
But the panoramic put the shimmer
To shame.

Thank you.
In this brilliance we rose
Hoping to understand why the routine
drifts away in prose

For every detail and every insight
The neurons kept firing in question,
Let us speak for it is time
To mark this audacity in rhyme.

Although subtle
The cues went noticed
The portrait tact
And yet somehow,
Obtruded.

But lets digress from these colors
Let the light paint our shadow
For the steps keep calling
with a subtle vibration

We know its time.

Learning to float

First my apologies.
Perhaps I gave y'all the idea that
it was all spit without the gears
We aint about that shit

Words can leave you salivating
But sweat builds the fucking mountains
So don't ever forget that in a heartbeat
I could carry your dreams and forget I even did

You're swimming in it, but you can't even float
The irony of words is that they hold the strength of plans
Without the gunshot
You'll never be grand.

We can all aim high but precision does the talking
It's all too simple these days
With the chatter and spread of information
We're suddenly heroes and activists

But we haven't even blinked, the AC,
It's still running. It's near silence
but its not. The inaction,
It's deafening.

Heck I've gone mute,
I can't even rhyme shit
that could emphasize the prolonged
dream of a typeface, the letters were blank.

It was always that way,
It was always silent because at some point
We stop pinching ourselves and assume
that it was deserved…

Hold them.

Ever flip a coin hoping to choose
What never had a side?
Ever hope it fell on its side
Not yours or mine, but its.

Its the introspective gamble,
The bet we never made
The thoughts we shattered
Hoping their rebuilt selves would float away.

But instead we find ourselves walking on shards
Hoping to find the worlds' balance
We rebuild in pieces
But the scars never leave us.

Walking taller the worlds would never propitiate.
The past plays thinking it knows best,
The present checks for an all-in future,
But inaction has killed us before.

Fallacious wisdom rises to fail
For the trust of more over better.
We sacrifice the selfless
For the self to have less.

I wish I could make you understand
The direction our hearts dream of.
But with every step
You seem to forget

This was never your game
You gave me the chips
Now please,
let me play.

I'm all in.