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"I'm not the whisky you want, I'm the water you need." - Rupi Kaur

The light came through,
Your peaceful smile, in truth.
The surreal was still at bay
But I did not know what my words would convey.

I heard the silence pedal,
I spent the days winning medals
Hoping to protect my heart
By covering it with metal.

I'm trying to explain these walls,
The shields and simple fears,
I hope they don't reflect you away,
But I do not know if you can stay.

I buried myself deep within
Behind this thick armor
My wounds had frozen
As I lay there, I burned the roses.

A little heat was a sweet reminder
Of my burnt past
The loving pleasure and pain
I ran from what would always remain.

So when I glanced at you in disbelief,
It was hard to mutter past my walls,
But you saw past them with your own,
By admitting what I had never known.

The vulnerabilities we touch
Let us know we are loved
They acknowledge our shame
And let us play our game

With a silly smile, I finally got the courage
I finally had the nerve,
To yell past my walls with a whisper,
And ask myself the question...

"Can't I be happy I'm with you?"

.
.
.


In the distance, she whispered

"To let ourselves be seen,
To love with our whole hearts,
To practice gratitude,
To lean into joy.

I am enough." - paraphrased from BrenĂ© Brown's TED talk.

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Learning to float

First my apologies.
Perhaps I gave y'all the idea that
it was all spit without the gears
We aint about that shit

Words can leave you salivating
But sweat builds the fucking mountains
So don't ever forget that in a heartbeat
I could carry your dreams and forget I even did

You're swimming in it, but you can't even float
The irony of words is that they hold the strength of plans
Without the gunshot
You'll never be grand.

We can all aim high but precision does the talking
It's all too simple these days
With the chatter and spread of information
We're suddenly heroes and activists

But we haven't even blinked, the AC,
It's still running. It's near silence
but its not. The inaction,
It's deafening.

Heck I've gone mute,
I can't even rhyme shit
that could emphasize the prolonged
dream of a typeface, the letters were blank.

It was always that way,
It was always silent because at some point
We stop pinching ourselves and assume
that it was deserved…

Click

"Click".

It switched.
Unequivocally different.
Through those hardships
We finally turned around.

Perhaps reflections and glimmers
Gave us sight when we could not claim
But the panoramic put the shimmer
To shame.

Thank you.
In this brilliance we rose
Hoping to understand why the routine
drifts away in prose

For every detail and every insight
The neurons kept firing in question,
Let us speak for it is time
To mark this audacity in rhyme.

Although subtle
The cues went noticed
The portrait tact
And yet somehow,
Obtruded.

But lets digress from these colors
Let the light paint our shadow
For the steps keep calling
with a subtle vibration

We know its time.

Let me get hurt.

Let me sit here,
Let me feel the drops,
As my heart shatters,
and your shadow drifts away.

Let us get confounded,
Let us mix emotions,
Pour them all into a melting pot,
Pour them all into a blurry past.

I want to look back,
and know that I have felt,
I want to look back and know,
That I have loved.

Because from the pain,
and from the tears,
and from the painful nights,
that I shivered through,

There were the nights,
that you held my hand,
and gave me warmth,

There were the nights,
where it was only us awake,
in the whole wide world,
It was only us who felt love.
Let me believe that it was all true,

Let my tears be for the moments that I miss,
and not for the moments that I did not live.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have lived.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have loved.