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What are we supposed to do after all that we've been through...

When everything that felt so right is wrong?

It's interesting, where you draw the line... Confusing as well. The world of peace and tranquility is impossible, and its existence shall always remain a dream, an objective, a place we would love to set ourselves towards endlessly, rather than simply reaching it. Simple words can change the life of another human being, and in many circumstances, they have. I write to you, in confusion, I don't know where life has gone, but the beauties within it still remain. Dropping from one and rising to the other, I await a sound wave, but at the same time, am reluctant to hear it. I wish and dont wish, I simply don't want to decide.

Why can't two worlds coincide? Why can't my life be settled as is, without problems? It wouldn't be much of a life would it?

Watching a speaker recently, I recall him asking his audience, how many liked surprises, the response was indefinitely yes. Little did they know, problems were surprises, and the truth is, as he stated, we need these problems and surprises. There is no reason for us to live if there is nothing to overcome, there is no reason for us to change if no change will come of our change, life needs it, you need it, but ironically enough, you rarely want it.

Sometimes, you have something, and you find it so perfect, that the thrill and excitement of changing that something scares the living shit out of you. Some people grasp onto perfection not wanting to let it go, simply because, they finally have it, there is no need for them to change, or alternate what they have, it is there, and they are afraid that if they change any variables, it will dissolve into nothing, and their life will return to being empty. Let me tell you now in the words of an excited president, change. Change the variables, mix up what you have, risk it, learn how much you actually care about it, because perfection is not something you can achieve, it is something you can experience. It is something you can experience many times, but unless you live your life with risks, and throw yourself out there to experience the world with emotion, with hate, love, pain, suffering, joy, and excitement, you will not live. As much as it hurts to lose someone, it is with great joy that you love someone. Now, you can live your life without love or hate, you can close yourself, lock your doors, and feel as if you are being wise and safe, when in truth, stupidity has reached you at its best. I know there is fear about stepping into the unsettled ground, but start caring less about the things you care too much about, and start living life to its fullest, every day, and every minute of your life. I really wish I could plan ahead, I really wish I could expect and get everything I expect, but I have come to the realization that if that were the case, my life would be emotionless. I want to love to feel love, and although many a time I accept the fact that I could suffer by loving, I want to suffer, not in a masochist way, but because suffering is living proof that you have loved something. It is there to tell you that you felt something, and I am dam proud that my life has had its mistakes, that I have felt like an idiot, like an ass, like a prick, and told myself, you need to change.
It truly is about letting things loose, just slightly, so that you can experience and live a change.

So, I leave you with one piece of ironically supportive advice. Look at all the things you frown upon, everything that makes you feel like a shit of a human being, and tell yourself, I know what it feels like, and now that I know it, I can change.

Because you truly can change.
qk

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