Skip to main content

plant it. then explain it.

Sometimes you don't realize or understand somebody until the setting and scenario change... Sometimes what you didn't know hurts so deeply, that everything changes. It's like a drop of oil in water, it's that drop that changes everything, that messes with the entire cup of water. It's a small seed that drops into every thought, it's the final puzzle piece that you lost under the couch and finally found. Everything locks in, it all makes sense, and sense makes you feel like you've been living a lie. But then you realize the drop of oil had long ago contaminated the water, and you were only now noticing what you always knew. You knew that puzzle piece existed, and you only noticed the seed because it's flowers had blossomed, it took you long enough to realize, but now, it's evident.

What can I say, reality doesn't hit you until it's a horse slapping you with a frying pan in the face. It's the lie that's always been there, the one you never wish you realized, but at the same time, something you were waiting for all along. It was the moment you wanted to hold onto, the moment you wanted and wished for, but never came. It was the moment you could use as an excuse to mount the hidden feelings and crushed emotions because you simply didn't have the balls to do it before. It's what you've always said to yourself before in hope that you would change. It's the little idea that you planted inside yourself for no reason, the little idea that grew strongly without true logic, it's the little idea that creeped onto every schema you ever had, and now that little idea has a reason, now that little idea has a home, and now that eternal cognitive dissonance has resolved.


Popular posts from this blog

On nature's sincerity

I wish I could But I spoke nonsense I wrote it rather To speak it back to you.
The trees spoke quietly I looked from above and smiled The sun tucked away and I hoped It would spill its secrets.
The picture was rightfully painted Had I blinked, I would have missed it. Do not use sincerity It is not becoming of usage.
Learn to become And you will see the world As it was born It will smile once more. x

My Barcelona Guide

Long overdue, but having been to Barcelona a number of times, I have been wanting to write some of the secret parts of the city that I encountered, and that are worth seeing. It's worth citing that a lot of the restaurants were originally gotten from an amazing list of restaurants my doctoral advisor shared with me, and that a lot of the places I love going to were first shown to me by our program director, who knows Barcelona better than anybody I know.

Additional note: Barcelona runs on a different time schedule than other countries. Dinner at 9-10pm is very common, and people start going out around midnight (to bars). Clubs start around 2am and go until about 6am, so keep that in mind as you enjoy the city. They also have afternoon naps (siestas), so in the early afternoon, a lot of things may be closed. The summer is usually pretty packed regardless because its booming with tourists. I generally do not like crowded toursit-filled areas, but you have to experience them once. You…

On addiction.

She was right. I could hardly sleep at night For every waking moment I was distracted by the beats.
Scrolling through history Passing each Kodak moment I had purposefully silenced my own The grid was feeding my veins.
An addict at best, I saw the ticker go down A minor twitch Branded jeans.
I landed. The writing finished. The grid connected. My addiction blinded me once more.
Note: Going through my phone and posting the pieces I wrote over this summer, posting a lot today given my prior frequency haha.