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I need to figure out how I feel about money.

Today I had a fun adventure where I had to save every penny possible to get from the San Francisco Airport (SFO) to my cheap hotel in Mountain View. I wanted to do it in under 10 dollars, with the hotel running me about $100.00 I thought. I succeeded for the most part, but there were some mistakes that I felt in the future I could improve.

So, this was my adventure. The first part was pretty plain and simple, I left SFO through BART ($4.00) to Millbrae, and then took Caltrain ($4.25) to the Mountain View stop. Upon arrival, I walked around 25 minutes to the hotel I had previously looked up. It turns out it was sold out when I got there, which shoved me a bit out of my comfort zone, walking with my luggage at midnight around Mountain View. It scared me a little, and that was good, it's always good to get scared, and learn new experiences. From there I walked maybe a minute next door to a Comfort Inn, which happened to also be sold out. The experience however, was completely different. The guy at the Comfort Inn was concerned, and called a few places to help me find a place to stay, and called a cab driver for me as well. This was awesome. I felt a little better, and made it to my hotel where I am writing this now. The cab ride was $14.70,  which pushed me over my 10 dollar limit, but the Comfort Inn in Palo Alto was only $80.00, so I was ok. Now, as I was walking around running all these numbers through my head, I went into deep thought about money, and whether I should care.

Everyone has a different approach on money. Some people would have taken a cab straight from the airport to a decent hotel, spent $80.00 on the cab and $140 on the place. I've done this before, in fact, I usually do this because its a lot less stress for me and saves me time. However, why do I give a fuck? There's two ways of looking at this. If you have the money, stop worrying about the future and go ahead and spend it, if you need money in the future, you'll figure it out. The other is, why do you stress so much over pointless things? If you can't find a hotel in one place, there will surely be one elsewhere (there were like 20 hotels when I took the cab ride). Chill out. I usually like to go for an in between, where I chill out and don't care about the money. However, I think not caring about spending money is a stupid way of thinking about it because it gets me to unnecessarily spend money on things of no value. Nice hotels, destressed lives, it's not as rewarding as traveling somewhere, or certain experiences. I realized that I should be spending money on life lessons, on things that will change the way I see the world and help me discover the most inspiring things in this earth. This is what I want. So, with that in mind, I will proceed to live a humbler life, which will go as follows:

  • I will look at everything I currently pay for and determine whether I really need it. Something tells me I most likely will not need many of my things.
  • I will save a large percentage of my income, so that I can only spend a certain amount on a per week basis. This way, I will be able to successfully monitor the amount of money I use correctly.
I hope to accomplish these things this summer, and live a more humble life :).

Take care,


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Learning to float

First my apologies.
Perhaps I gave y'all the idea that
it was all spit without the gears
We aint about that shit

Words can leave you salivating
But sweat builds the fucking mountains
So don't ever forget that in a heartbeat
I could carry your dreams and forget I even did

You're swimming in it, but you can't even float
The irony of words is that they hold the strength of plans
Without the gunshot
You'll never be grand.

We can all aim high but precision does the talking
It's all too simple these days
With the chatter and spread of information
We're suddenly heroes and activists

But we haven't even blinked, the AC,
It's still running. It's near silence
but its not. The inaction,
It's deafening.

Heck I've gone mute,
I can't even rhyme shit
that could emphasize the prolonged
dream of a typeface, the letters were blank.

It was always that way,
It was always silent because at some point
We stop pinching ourselves and assume
that it was deserved…



It switched.
Unequivocally different.
Through those hardships
We finally turned around.

Perhaps reflections and glimmers
Gave us sight when we could not claim
But the panoramic put the shimmer
To shame.

Thank you.
In this brilliance we rose
Hoping to understand why the routine
drifts away in prose

For every detail and every insight
The neurons kept firing in question,
Let us speak for it is time
To mark this audacity in rhyme.

Although subtle
The cues went noticed
The portrait tact
And yet somehow,

But lets digress from these colors
Let the light paint our shadow
For the steps keep calling
with a subtle vibration

We know its time.

Let me get hurt.

Let me sit here,
Let me feel the drops,
As my heart shatters,
and your shadow drifts away.

Let us get confounded,
Let us mix emotions,
Pour them all into a melting pot,
Pour them all into a blurry past.

I want to look back,
and know that I have felt,
I want to look back and know,
That I have loved.

Because from the pain,
and from the tears,
and from the painful nights,
that I shivered through,

There were the nights,
that you held my hand,
and gave me warmth,

There were the nights,
where it was only us awake,
in the whole wide world,
It was only us who felt love.
Let me believe that it was all true,

Let my tears be for the moments that I miss,
and not for the moments that I did not live.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have lived.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have loved.