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What's your secret?

It comes down to this.

I judge myself harder than anybody could ever judge me. I firmly remind myself that I am my biggest enemy, my biggest hurdle, and my biggest obstacle to success. I control the perceptions of others so that no matter what anybody says or does it all comes down to me and once I realized this, that I was in control, I realized that I needed to run my ship to its finest capabilities if I was to be the best I could ever be.

I must note that at the end of every day I acknowledge a few truths that have remained true to me. The main one of those is that death is imminent. We will die, and the clock is always ticking. We can waste time, or we can fill it with the steps to our dreams. The rest of those truths highlight the things which are important in this world. Based on what I continue to learn and read, there is happiness, there is wisdom, there is love, and there is sorrow. These are a few of the many emotions and virtues which define us. Out of all of these, I have always known that I would give happiness, love and wisdom my strongest sacrifices to get as much as I could of them. I knew with love would come sorrow which I have learned to value as necessary for truly living.

By realizing this you become caught up in the knowledge that what you are doing is a step in the right direction of what you need to be doing. This acknowledgment makes the small steps it takes to get a chance at those bigger steps become obvious. I'm obviously going to do every minor chore in my way as soon as I can to clear the time, to clear as much time as possible for my dream. If all I want is to dream all day, I will make time to dream all day. If I never clear the time, I will be burdened by stress until the day I clear those growing barriers of wasted time.


I heard a great analogy once (I forget where, probably some Facebook post) about stress and a glass of water. It amounted to stress not being a matter of the absolute weight of the glass of water but rather how long you hold it. If I hold a glass of water for a minute, surely i'd be fine, an hour, I might be in pain, any longer and who knows. This is what stress does, and this is what these minor steps become if you do not immediately conquer them. You have to train yourself to simply tackle every thing as it comes, when it comes.

I remember, I use to avoid washing the dishes, doing the laundry, or any chore that wasn't my true passion. Not a lot of time went by before any chore, no matter how small or big, would actually slow down my steps towards the bigger picture. If I didn't do certain things, I didn't make it to the bigger dreams, I fell short. They became sillier bigger steps. Suddenly washing the dishes became harder because I didn't do it immediately, these minor things that required trivial energy became harsh because I didn't crush the bugs when they were born, I let them grow into big irrelevant steps that didn't actually carry that much weight. The glass of water wasn't heavy at first, I should of dealt with it then.

At the end of the day, its never about the amount of energy in you physically, but rather the amount of energy in you mentally. Your mind will carry you through battles you didn't think you were capable of, you just have to start believing in the necessity of taking down the smaller barriers so your picturesque dream continues to live unobstructed.


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On nature's sincerity

I wish I could But I spoke nonsense I wrote it rather To speak it back to you.
The trees spoke quietly I looked from above and smiled The sun tucked away and I hoped It would spill its secrets.
The picture was rightfully painted Had I blinked, I would have missed it. Do not use sincerity It is not becoming of usage.
Learn to become And you will see the world As it was born It will smile once more. x

left it as a draft, came back, its ready.

Indemnify the asinine.
Take it back.
Make a profit.
It's just pocket change.

Don't wish, keep quiet,
and make it happen.
For preemptive boasting
Is definite fragility.

Don't let them shatter
your hidden incompetence.
Lay it on the table.
Serve it cold.

Realize that honesty
poisons the fearful.
Understand that truth
will tear down that wall.

Detail with actions
Step over those who detail
For substance is rare
But taking down the producer
That's the norm in this hell.