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The smart desire to be stupid.

**Special note: I also published this in a blog my friends and I try to contribute to, which is called readmyshit.tumblr.com.

The thought has crossed my mind countless times. Do we really ever want what we have? Do we ever really learn to appreciate those things that are given to us? I do my best to do so, but don’t always succeed.

Many times I am given opportunities which I feel are far beyond anything I could ever ask for. Opportunities of a lifetime. I write to you from a situation in which I desired I knew less.

When I was in highschool, I travelled to very poor and underdeveloped areas where the poor struggled to survive. I worked in a farm which fed five different families, and which basically maintained these people for the entire year. We built them a self-sustainable pond in which they would be able to fish during the winter, and I felt that as a kid, I was making a difference.

Now, I look back, and desire not to help them again, but rather, to be them. My desire to forget some of the things I know, and live a much humbler life come out of the desire to be happy.

When I see these people out in the mountains, proud because their child went to school, I can’t help but wonder, is school the right choice?

Has humanity lost track of our goals? I’d definitely say yes. We are a ruined society filled with hatred and war, where the little smiles and small achievement receive great praise. Nonetheless, such praise is one which I cannot understand. Many times I am congratulated by friends and family for my achievements and wisdom in school. I am smart and successful upon the eyes of society, but to me, that is worthless.

I really enjoy my work, not because of what people say or how they look upon me, but rather, because I really like it. I can’t say I mind the support of other people, it is much appreciated, but it has brought upon me a question which I continue to ponder.

Many people have said that the goal in society is to get money, and gone on about how sad that is. I have noticed differently. It seems the main goal of an individual in society is to be successful in pleasing others.

Think about it. Bill Gates thrived in his life and is looked high upon in society because he was able to make a product which hundreds and thousands of individuals could use. That was what brought money.

I’d argue that these deeds, which are done to please and satisfy the individuals of the world, have one major flaw. The nature of goodness in them is questionable. If you are going to make something that is going to be for thousands of people to use, you better be very careful about what you make. You may think differently, but a product as simple as a cellphone can change us forever. Just because you have the wisdom to make such a device, and make it be attractive enough to individuals, does not mean it will benefit our way of life. Suffering and struggle is not always bad, it brings appreciation. The quicker you try and solve suffering and struggle, the faster you lose appreciation, so here is what I am trying to get across.

Do something because you love it. Do something because you have fun and feel happy when you are doing it. Don’t do things at the pressure and enjoyment of others, don’t do things simply to please others, because others don’t know who you are and what you want, only you can answer that.

A few hundred years ago, in the 18th and 19th century, the United Kingdom, and subsequently the entire world, changed completely due to what we now refer as the Industrial Revolution. The mass production of, well, products, seems to have completely turned around societies to seek to be the best in production. We are the after fact of that. What good does any job that you get do?

Think about it, whoever or whatever you are. You are making or doing something, because someone else wants it. Whether its a gun, or an Android app, or curing someone’s disease. We all seem to seek to please others.

But, what’s the point?

If we struggle so much to please others, and that is our major accomplishment in life, then we are nobody. Please, stop.

For once in life I ask that you do whatever you are doing for the pleasure of doing it, and for the pleasure of enjoying the work you are doing because we have forgotten a basic necessity in life, that seems to be self-evident in the frowns and tears of thousands and millions around the world who put goals in their horizon, and upon reaching them, are dumbfounded as to where to go next.

Watch Stephen Fry’s interview on ‘what he wanted to know when he was 18’, and listen carefully to his thoughts on “work being more fun than fun”.

The reason I want to be ‘stupid’, or rather, uninformed, is because I know that the people who live and die as those who never knew what was out there in the world, were never filled with the ideals and troubles that were out there.

A good heart will rot and find itself helpless upon the hate and disgust that the world has out there.

The words I shared with individuals who knew nothing more than how to hunt a white deer, and how to make the crops they grew, solely to feed their family, are probably looked upon as tremendously ignorant in the eyes of most individuals. But do you think they give a shit?

They are happy. They get to feed their families and continue generation after generation, believe me, I’ve felt it in their eyes. I’ve looked into them and truly noticed that the ones who are screwed up are us.

We depend upon how others feel about us to feel like were accomplished.

They know they are accomplished.

So take a step back and figure out if what you are doing really is what you want to do, and not what everyone else around you is cheering you to do. They may coincide, but they don’t always, so be very careful.

Happiness is not determined by how others look at you in the world. Happiness is determined by how you feel about what you do. So quit being miserable, and please, live your life.

qk.

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First my apologies.
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it was all spit without the gears
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Words can leave you salivating
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It was always that way,
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We stop pinching ourselves and assume
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Click

"Click".

It switched.
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Through those hardships
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Perhaps reflections and glimmers
Gave us sight when we could not claim
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To shame.

Thank you.
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For every detail and every insight
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Let us speak for it is time
To mark this audacity in rhyme.

Although subtle
The cues went noticed
The portrait tact
And yet somehow,
Obtruded.

But lets digress from these colors
Let the light paint our shadow
For the steps keep calling
with a subtle vibration

We know its time.

Let me get hurt.

Let me sit here,
Let me feel the drops,
As my heart shatters,
and your shadow drifts away.

Let us get confounded,
Let us mix emotions,
Pour them all into a melting pot,
Pour them all into a blurry past.

I want to look back,
and know that I have felt,
I want to look back and know,
That I have loved.

Because from the pain,
and from the tears,
and from the painful nights,
that I shivered through,

There were the nights,
that you held my hand,
and gave me warmth,

There were the nights,
where it was only us awake,
in the whole wide world,
It was only us who felt love.
Let me believe that it was all true,

Let my tears be for the moments that I miss,
and not for the moments that I did not live.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have lived.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have loved.