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Dear Impossible, here I come.

I don't know what it was but it was one of those days where I just needed to write. I had a pretty awesome day at work and gave a demo presentation at an event at Google which turned out to be fantastic. I've been working somewhat hard the past few weeks but my motivation just hasn't been there like it usually is. I think that is probably because of a lot of thoughts that have been going through my head about my motivation in life and why I do things. I had also just gone to a talk at Google about the guy who wrote the PhD memoirs which was also incredibly thought provoking. At the end of the day, I also had a pretty deep talk with my girlfriend in what would finish my day with more thoughts than my mind could handle. I was excited, but overwhelmed. There was only a few days left before I would head back to Georgia Tech, and start my traditional life again.

Recently I subscribed to Joel Runyon's site and started getting his newsletters and this got me pumped. Within a few days I was getting emails that really made me think a lot about the things that we do in life, and the first thing that I got was why.

Why?

A ridiculous question. I hadn't really put down an answer to it, but Joel's question was simple, why am I here? What is my purpose, my passion? I didn't have an answer just then but I broke down the things I like to do and I realized that I love new experiences. One of the reasons I had lost motivation this summer was because I had been at Google before, and even though my new project was really awesome and exciting, I had less excitement in me because I had been through this before. I guess its a scary thought because you're probably thinking, well you are not going to have a stable life! I thought about that a lot, trust me. However, I realized how wrong that was. You can have a stable life and continue to find new experiences, in fact, that's exactly how I want to live. In one sentence, I would describe why I am here as:

To continue to find and live new experiences that allow me to lead a life that my grandchildren can admire.

Although I am sure that those little kids will be wonderful, I am not doing it for them to admire. I only mention them because I want a child, whose innocence hasn't spoiled the world, to admire the actions of a human being through honest and sincere eyes. I want my experiences to inspire, but I also want them to change me, and make me a better person by continuing to learn until the day I die.

So, what's next?

The list. That's what is next. Joel's third email had yet another challenge, and it said to make a list. I will take upon that challenge and use his very own design to actually design my own list. I will update this later but this is the backbone of it:

I also added some of my previous accomplishments for the things I have done in life.

LIFE
  • Change and reform the education system of Panama to create brilliant scholars.
  • Help a distant friend in dire need (economically or emotionally) without wanting or expecting anything in return.
ADRENALINE RUSH:
  • Wing suit flying.
  • Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.
  • Go scuba diving.
  • Go Skydiving. (Completed June 2009 - Prague, Czech Republic)
    • Complete the Accelerated Free Fall program. (Completed in Jan 2010 - Atlanta, GA.)
  • Go Canyon Jumping. (Completed May 2010, Interlaken, Switzerland).
TRAVEL

  • Travel on my own to a country where I do not speak the language, and blend in. (Completed in June 2010, went to Egypt, learned the basic greetings, and actually ended up watching soccer with locals to the point where they confused me as a local.)
  • Keep the number of countries I have been to as greater than or equal to my age.
    • Currently at 21 countries at age 21.
      • Countries (in somewhat order of travel): Panama, USA, Canada, Costa Rica, Mexico, Brazil, Netherlands, Ireland, England, France, Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, Greece, Italy, Vatican City, Spain, Australia, Croatia, Egypt, The Bahamas.
FITNESS
  • Do a Planche Pushup
  • Do 50 Consecutive Pull ups.
  • Get a Six Pack
  • Do 100 laps in an Olympic Pool.
RESEARCH / EDUCATION
  • Get an undergraduate degree.
  • Get a graduate degree.
  • Be the primary author in a Computer Vision paper submitted to any top-tier conference.
    • Get the Best Paper award.
SELF IMPROVEMENT
  • Learn to play an instrument.
    • Post a video on YouTube as evidence that I have gained such skill.

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Learning to float

First my apologies.
Perhaps I gave y'all the idea that
it was all spit without the gears
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Words can leave you salivating
But sweat builds the fucking mountains
So don't ever forget that in a heartbeat
I could carry your dreams and forget I even did

You're swimming in it, but you can't even float
The irony of words is that they hold the strength of plans
Without the gunshot
You'll never be grand.

We can all aim high but precision does the talking
It's all too simple these days
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But we haven't even blinked, the AC,
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but its not. The inaction,
It's deafening.

Heck I've gone mute,
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that could emphasize the prolonged
dream of a typeface, the letters were blank.

It was always that way,
It was always silent because at some point
We stop pinching ourselves and assume
that it was deserved…

Click

"Click".

It switched.
Unequivocally different.
Through those hardships
We finally turned around.

Perhaps reflections and glimmers
Gave us sight when we could not claim
But the panoramic put the shimmer
To shame.

Thank you.
In this brilliance we rose
Hoping to understand why the routine
drifts away in prose

For every detail and every insight
The neurons kept firing in question,
Let us speak for it is time
To mark this audacity in rhyme.

Although subtle
The cues went noticed
The portrait tact
And yet somehow,
Obtruded.

But lets digress from these colors
Let the light paint our shadow
For the steps keep calling
with a subtle vibration

We know its time.

Let me get hurt.

Let me sit here,
Let me feel the drops,
As my heart shatters,
and your shadow drifts away.

Let us get confounded,
Let us mix emotions,
Pour them all into a melting pot,
Pour them all into a blurry past.

I want to look back,
and know that I have felt,
I want to look back and know,
That I have loved.

Because from the pain,
and from the tears,
and from the painful nights,
that I shivered through,

There were the nights,
that you held my hand,
and gave me warmth,

There were the nights,
where it was only us awake,
in the whole wide world,
It was only us who felt love.
Let me believe that it was all true,

Let my tears be for the moments that I miss,
and not for the moments that I did not live.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have lived.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have loved.