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In search for truth.

How do you tell your heart to stop being hopeful,
so you can move on, get some sleep, and convince
yourself that it just wasn't right when you knew it
was meant to be.

I feel frozen in time, begging for a better moment,
I compulsively want to write you stories and thoughts,
tell you everything that's going through my mind,
but I step back, a cordial greeting is all I've got.

The personality has been stripped away and all
we're stuck with is hello friend, or just goodbye.
With a dark smudge at its end, the very definition
of a period makes me cringe, this is final.

Our messages our counted, every one of them
gets closer to the last one, I'm losing the urge to
write, with hopes that when I tuck myself in, my
heart stops asking why.

My mind knows it well and has gone through it
thirty times just this morning. It knows that you felt
this was right. It knows that you are suffering just
as much, but that our hands can no longer touch.

At every vibration, I rush to see if perhaps the
cordial greeting is yours. I miss you at every step
I take, and everywhere I go I stop and think of
every little moment I could have changed.

But you're right, I don't regret any of the time
we spent, because we laughed and we smiled,
and even in tears we held each other, trying to
convince ourselves everything was going to be okay.

I know it is. I know that perhaps I'll run into you
when the dust has settled and we'll hug and we'll
talk, maybe even reconsider what are now
memories of a beautiful time.

Memories that I will always cherish,
Memories that I still hope come back,
but I've pushed away because I need
to cope with this goodbye.

I need to get my heart to understand that the tears
are for why I've always loved you. It needs to understand
that this loss is a long term gain despite the short term

It needs to understand what I know now is true.
You want to find yourself and what you love,
You want to explore and love who you are,
so that when you love someone else,

You'll know its true.


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Learning to float

First my apologies.
Perhaps I gave y'all the idea that
it was all spit without the gears
We aint about that shit

Words can leave you salivating
But sweat builds the fucking mountains
So don't ever forget that in a heartbeat
I could carry your dreams and forget I even did

You're swimming in it, but you can't even float
The irony of words is that they hold the strength of plans
Without the gunshot
You'll never be grand.

We can all aim high but precision does the talking
It's all too simple these days
With the chatter and spread of information
We're suddenly heroes and activists

But we haven't even blinked, the AC,
It's still running. It's near silence
but its not. The inaction,
It's deafening.

Heck I've gone mute,
I can't even rhyme shit
that could emphasize the prolonged
dream of a typeface, the letters were blank.

It was always that way,
It was always silent because at some point
We stop pinching ourselves and assume
that it was deserved…



It switched.
Unequivocally different.
Through those hardships
We finally turned around.

Perhaps reflections and glimmers
Gave us sight when we could not claim
But the panoramic put the shimmer
To shame.

Thank you.
In this brilliance we rose
Hoping to understand why the routine
drifts away in prose

For every detail and every insight
The neurons kept firing in question,
Let us speak for it is time
To mark this audacity in rhyme.

Although subtle
The cues went noticed
The portrait tact
And yet somehow,

But lets digress from these colors
Let the light paint our shadow
For the steps keep calling
with a subtle vibration

We know its time.

Let me get hurt.

Let me sit here,
Let me feel the drops,
As my heart shatters,
and your shadow drifts away.

Let us get confounded,
Let us mix emotions,
Pour them all into a melting pot,
Pour them all into a blurry past.

I want to look back,
and know that I have felt,
I want to look back and know,
That I have loved.

Because from the pain,
and from the tears,
and from the painful nights,
that I shivered through,

There were the nights,
that you held my hand,
and gave me warmth,

There were the nights,
where it was only us awake,
in the whole wide world,
It was only us who felt love.
Let me believe that it was all true,

Let my tears be for the moments that I miss,
and not for the moments that I did not live.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have lived.

Let me get hurt, because only then,
will I have loved.